Archive for September, 2011

Five Reasons Why Contagion (2011) Sucks

The symptoms were the worst part of it all; the intense headaches, the fatigue, the mental confusion, the sensation of my windpipe swelling and depriving my body of precious oxygen.  These are the symptoms I endured after sitting through 108 minutes of Contagion, the 2011 film about a viral epidemic that ravages the Earth.  I must admit that after months of watching intense, thrilling trailers, I had high expectations for Contagion, and those high expectations may have put the Steven Soderbergh film in an unfair position.  Still, I know a bad movie when I see one, and I hope that these Five Reasons Why Contagion Sucks will convince you to save your cash.  There will be a few spoilers in this review, so read at your own risk.  Or, don’t and bitch about it in my comments section.  No skin off my ass either way.

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The Top Five Reasons I Decided To Quit Smoking

What do I have in common with a chimney?  Well, since we are currently in the middle of a summer heat wave, neither of us produce smoke anymore.  For the past nine years, I’ve been an on-again, off-again cigarette smoker, and I’ve indulged my vice by telling myself that if I really wanted to quit, I could, and if I really wanted to resume smoking again, I could.  This mentality has kept me on a roller coaster of quitting, resuming, quitting, resuming, only this roller coaster doesn’t come with a keepsake photograph.  On August 30, 2011, I decided that it was time to quit for good, and I threw away my remaining cigarettes.  Today is day 7 of being smoke free, and while the week hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t been as challenging as I thought it would be either.  To commemorate a week of clean lungs (and to keep with the list theme of my blog), I proudly present:  The Top Five Reasons I Decided To Quit Smoking!

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The Top Ten Greatest Sci-Fi Movies of All Time

In a genre dominated by Na’vi, Klingons, Androids, Wookies, and intergalactic space politics, science fiction movies allow us to explore fantastic settings and foreign species without leaving the comfort of our living rooms.  For every great science fiction movie, Hollywood gives us a handful of stinkers to sit through, hoping that big budgets will be enough to earn ticket sales.  And wouldn’t you know it, we fall for it every time?

Still, it is the promise of the next great science fiction movie that keeps us coming back for more.  But what makes a science fiction movie good?  Is it the ingenuity of the world the story is set in?  Is it the analogies to social problems that impact our own lives?  Is it the cool spaceships and high-impact laser beams *pewpew*?  I would argue that each of these elements is important, and in my list of the Top Ten Greatest Sci-Fi Movies of All Time, I have combined my own personal tastes with the impact that the following movies have on the genre as a whole.

Why make this list?  Well, in the words of the infamous HAL9000, I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can hope to do.

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