Archive for January, 2013
Warning: This review of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will spoil the, um, ‘plot’ of the film.
Hey, kids! Anyone up for 88 minutes of watching women get punched in the face? No one? Well, then, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is not the film for you. While this review will answer many of the questions you may have, like ‘is it worth my money?’ or ‘are there any redeeming qualities?‘ there is one question it cannot answer: Who the hell was this film made for? If you can answer that question, please feel free to do so in the comments! Read the rest of this entry »
Warning: This review of Mama (2013) contains some spoilers. If you don’t want to know the details of the film, turn back now. Or a ghost will get you.
When judging the quality of a film, one has to take into consideration the context in which it is seen. Take, for instance, Mama, a 2013 horror film written and directed by Andres Muschietti. I went to see Mama as part of a double-date, and by the end of the film, one person from each couple was clinging to their partner in fear, while the other was chuckling. I won’t say which role I played; I’m quite fond of my bed, and wish to avoid a night on the couch. Still, this type of reaction from the audience sums up quite comfortably my feelings on the film: a good horror movie with fun scares, but a few flaws which keep it from being a masterpiece. Read the rest of this entry »
I am absolutely, unabashedly addicted to CBS’s reality show Survivor. To date, I’ve watched every season at least once, with a few seasons getting two or three viewings. With Survivor: Caramoan set to premier in a few weeks, I’ve made the decision to do a weekly recap blog of the season. I’m stoked about this season. With it being the 26th season of Survivor, the production team has brought back 10 memorable players from recent seasons to pit against 10 brand newbies. Fans versus Favorites, round two? Count me in! Each Friday, I will post a review of the week’s episode, complete with standout moments, my thoughts on any strategic moves the players make, and I’ll crown weekly MVP. I’ll also be leading up to the season with two cast analysis blogs.
February 1, 2013 – Analysis of Returning Players
February 8, 2013 – Analysis of New Players
February 15, 2013 – Week 1 Analysis
And so on, all the way through the finale.
Is it nerdy to love a reality show this much? Sure. But that’s what this blog is all about, right?
Warning, True Believers: This blog post will spoil The Amazing Spider-man #700 and Superior Spider-man #1.
Spider-man is one of the most popular superheroes ever. Fact. No citation needed. Since his debut in Amazing Fantasy #15 in 1962, Spider-man has been a pop-culture powerhouse, with appearances in multiple movies, cartoons, and Halloween costumes. Any product that can have Spider-man branding slapped on it, has. It is like Rule 34, but instead of porn, we have Spider-man product placement. Recently, The Amazing Spider-man ended its run after 700 issues, which is an astonishing feat. Even more impressive is the amount of controversy the final issue caused. Read the rest of this entry »
Warning: This review of Zero Dark Thirty contains spoilers. If you don’t want to find out that Osama bin Laden is killed at the end of this film, stop reading now.
Perhaps one of the hardest things a filmmaker will ever have to do is tell a story that the whole world already knows. When the audience already knows the details behind a real-life event, the filmmaker’s task then becomes an exercise in making existing facts more engaging, usually by heavily fictionalizing the actual events. In an age where ‘based on a true story’ should almost always be followed by an asterisk and the disclaimer ‘kind of,’ Zero Dark Thirty was a breath of fresh air. This isn’t to imply that Zero Dark Thirty was completely devoid of any fictional elements; rather, the presentation of the film created an atmosphere where the facts were allowed to take center stage. Read the rest of this entry »
Warning: I am going to spoil the shit out of Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) with this review.
Evil Wears Many Faces. This is the tagline of 2013’s January horror release Texas Chainsaw 3D, and I couldn’t agree more. Evil does indeed wear many faces. In this case, those faces include three screenplay writers, three story writers, a director, and a the slew of producers and Lion’s Gate executives who greenlit this clunker of a film. Yes, my friends, Texas Chainsaw 3D is already a candidate for worst film of the year, and we are only a week in! Perhaps it is unfair to harshly criticize a franchise slasher flick that was only made as a quick money-grab. I enjoy a good horror film, and am very willing to overlook a few quality issues in the spirit of getting a cheap scare, but Texas Chainsaw 3D’s issues were just too numerous to overlook for this reviewer. What’s so wrong with this film, you might ask? You’ve come to the right place! Read the rest of this entry »
I have to admit it… Django Unchained thoroughly confused me. Not the plot details, the characterization, or any of the details of the film itself, mind you. No, the film as a whole, and my reaction to it, still have me scratching my head a week later. You see, normally I am struck by an immediate gut reaction after seeing a film. Good, bad, or indifferent, I usually have an inkling where a movies falls on my own personal quality meter within an hour or two of leaving the theater.
Django Unchained was a good film… that I didn’t like. That gulf, the gap separating personal satisfaction with technical proficiency, is what this review will attempt to tackle. Read the rest of this entry »